Then It's Settled. Right?

One of the hardest things about being a writer who posts a weekly published blog is that it forces me to write, even when I’m not in a good mood. This is hard is because I despise letting others know I’m not OK, but sometimes, on the days I dedicate to writing these, I don’t feel good, and I don’t know how to hide that behind these words.

I don’t like writing about my shitty bad moods because no matter how severe the issue is that’s causing me distress, I know it’s never as bad as the real issues others face.

When I was laid up in a hospital, unable to walk, I didn’t want to complain. I knew that someday I’d walk again, and there are others who aren’t so lucky.

When my ex-wife abducted our son, I knew we’d be reunited, eventually, and I’d be able to explain my side of the nasty situation. Others have children who die.

When my wife and I tried to have a second kid and she had two miscarriages, I knew that we already had a kid, so we had no right to complain about having a second one.

So it is with this in mind that I come to you this week to talk about how I often feel OK, but I also have days where I don’t, and while I’m good at using self-talk to make sure I know that it’s OK to not feel OK, I’m not OK with admitting this to others.

So that’s how this week went. I had many moments where life felt great, but I also had many wherein I succumbed to fear, anger, and sadness, or indulged in bitter thoughts.

And even though I know many people vlog (successfully) about this online, why would I want to be another Debbie Downer lamenting his sadness to “The Internet?”

Are you really here to read a weekly missive about “Not being OK with admitting I’m not OK (to people who aren’t, mostly, affected by what’s happening in my life)?”

On the other hand, maybe you do want to hear that. Maybe you came here because you’re looking for someone who doesn’t use filters on their photos and who doesn’t lie about accomplishments (or failures)?

Maybe you like a writer who lays it out there, which means some weeks, typing a self-pitying missive that drags you into the mix.

I don’t know. And I’ll probably never know. But I do know that I was about ten seconds away from sending out a silly essay that was full of wit and wonder, but entirely devoid of wisdom, humility, and candor, and that’s one thing I’m not OK with.

So at least we settled that.

On a brighter note, I wrote this on a Thursday, came back, edited it, and I’m all smiles.

Go figure.

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This week on Coffin Talk: Meet George Montgomery. After an Army tour in Vietnam, he completed a BBA degree and next achieved an MBA. He then spent 40 years as a business & tax consultant, 15 of which was done while living and traveling full time in a motorhome! He has now retired and writes novels and short stories. LISTEN HERE.