You Are Here

Hi.

I’m Mike Oppenheim and I’m here to help you think and laugh. I offer fiction, essays, music, videos, and podcasts that take your worldview grokability to the speed of light so you can become I forget what I was saying but I remembered to type how fun.

I write weekly, fun essays for You Are Here, including:

• How To Deal with People Who Are Saying Silly Things and Asking To Be Taken Seriously

• Vaginas Can’t Aim

• The Time I Went on a Date with a Homeless Woman

I’ve published five novels:

• Dysfunction (2010)

• Baby Doll (The Book, (2012)

• Too True to be Good (2017)

• The Apology (2021)

• Ardor (2023)

I also have a podcast, Coffin Talk, in which I ask humans how “The Meaning of Death” affects the way they live their life. It’s the most successful thing I’ve ever done, which surprises me. A lot!

In conclusion, I also index and edit books, run a writing workshop, drink coffee, and eat avocados, and my favorite part of life is my family, featuring my wife Elana, my son Tyler, my daughters Alice and Emily, and our dog Penelope Persimmon Parmesan (“Penny.”). THE END.