I often wonder/debate what would happen if we removed anonymity from online. What if you had to post on Reddit and other apps with your real name and state or zip code or something. Would we all be cautiously polite. Honest. Nicer?
Yeah...I can understand arguments against it, but I also think those arguments are based on a notion I don't subscribe to, and unless our government starts requiring citizens to USE social media and other platforms, if you opt in, it's not any different from any other service in America that requires your ID and real name to use them...
My employer of many years, who started the hospital named after him, always used the same words at every gathering where he spoke to his employees regarding our mission, no matter which department we worked in. Those two simple words were "Be kind." Face to face contact may no longer always be on the table in today's world, but we seem to have lost the ability to be kind and polite in our communications. And while it takes courage and some maturity, learning to say "no" upfront when you know you really don't want to do something beats flaking anyday.
Love this. My biggest pet peeve in Hawaii is that people are flaky. In Chicago, people say yes or no and then stick to it. I know this is a hot take, but I think it's a personality flaw of being non-committal. There, I said it.
Also, do you remember the name of the book about complaining?
Yeah..."Island time" isn't "flake time!" I'm loving the camaraderie on this issue!
The book (which isn't perfect) is: "A Complaint Free World" and the big sell (it works) is the 21-day challenge. I got to 19, twice...never made it to 21 (Full disclosure, I was living in a terrible marraige with a sub-one-year-old kid! hahah :P )
"Online culture has created a lack of interconnectedness that... is nevertheless the driving force behind the decline of most of our previously sacred social morays." morays: Family of brightly colored voracious eels of warm coastal waters; generally nonaggressive to humans but larger species are dangerous if provoked. (So, let's hear it for online culture!) Or did you mean "mores"? :-)
For some reason, I've experienced this behavior a lot since moving to California. Flaking is the most common behavior: once a good friend made plans with me for dinner and a movie on a Saturday. I didn't hear from him, only to get an email the following Monday: "I beg your forgiveness. Got invited to Tahoe at the last minute. Had a wonderful time." (The nerve of that last comment!) The same friend also RSVP'd with a guest to a mutual friend's tony SoCal wedding, and then just didn't show up or cancel. (You could call it karma, though, because the bride was notorious for doing similar things.)
I'm not sure why I experience this so much, but it has made me less social generally, an example of how social capital fades when people don't follow a common playbook.
Oh my God, I feel you so much here!!!! I DO think it's regional/cultural, but I also think it's technology related and "sweeping cultures" based on anecdotal evidence, etc. That story is HORRENDOUS...I'm appalled on everyone's behalf, but that text from that guy would sear a spot in my negative memory banks and I'd have trouble not feeling incensed every time I thought about it!! Thanks for relating this :)
That said, maybe we should privately share cell phone numbers so we can explain why our Star Trek style transporters aren't working, and thus we aren't able to make it to that in-person social engagement.
I often wonder/debate what would happen if we removed anonymity from online. What if you had to post on Reddit and other apps with your real name and state or zip code or something. Would we all be cautiously polite. Honest. Nicer?
Yeah...I can understand arguments against it, but I also think those arguments are based on a notion I don't subscribe to, and unless our government starts requiring citizens to USE social media and other platforms, if you opt in, it's not any different from any other service in America that requires your ID and real name to use them...
My employer of many years, who started the hospital named after him, always used the same words at every gathering where he spoke to his employees regarding our mission, no matter which department we worked in. Those two simple words were "Be kind." Face to face contact may no longer always be on the table in today's world, but we seem to have lost the ability to be kind and polite in our communications. And while it takes courage and some maturity, learning to say "no" upfront when you know you really don't want to do something beats flaking anyday.
That's a GREAT take. I am so thrilled by all these comments!!! Yay "Team that actually still cares!"
Love this. My biggest pet peeve in Hawaii is that people are flaky. In Chicago, people say yes or no and then stick to it. I know this is a hot take, but I think it's a personality flaw of being non-committal. There, I said it.
Also, do you remember the name of the book about complaining?
Yeah..."Island time" isn't "flake time!" I'm loving the camaraderie on this issue!
The book (which isn't perfect) is: "A Complaint Free World" and the big sell (it works) is the 21-day challenge. I got to 19, twice...never made it to 21 (Full disclosure, I was living in a terrible marraige with a sub-one-year-old kid! hahah :P )
Haha exactly! Thank you!
"Online culture has created a lack of interconnectedness that... is nevertheless the driving force behind the decline of most of our previously sacred social morays." morays: Family of brightly colored voracious eels of warm coastal waters; generally nonaggressive to humans but larger species are dangerous if provoked. (So, let's hear it for online culture!) Or did you mean "mores"? :-)
No, I definitely meant the sea creature. I've never even heard of that other fake word you just made up!!!! ;-) Nice catch!
😄
For some reason, I've experienced this behavior a lot since moving to California. Flaking is the most common behavior: once a good friend made plans with me for dinner and a movie on a Saturday. I didn't hear from him, only to get an email the following Monday: "I beg your forgiveness. Got invited to Tahoe at the last minute. Had a wonderful time." (The nerve of that last comment!) The same friend also RSVP'd with a guest to a mutual friend's tony SoCal wedding, and then just didn't show up or cancel. (You could call it karma, though, because the bride was notorious for doing similar things.)
I'm not sure why I experience this so much, but it has made me less social generally, an example of how social capital fades when people don't follow a common playbook.
Oh my God, I feel you so much here!!!! I DO think it's regional/cultural, but I also think it's technology related and "sweeping cultures" based on anecdotal evidence, etc. That story is HORRENDOUS...I'm appalled on everyone's behalf, but that text from that guy would sear a spot in my negative memory banks and I'd have trouble not feeling incensed every time I thought about it!! Thanks for relating this :)
“look someone in the eyes,”?
You might want to consult your doctor:
https://psychcentral.com/blog/aspie/2018/09/allism-spectrum-disorders-a-parody
🤣🤣🍂
That said, maybe we should privately share cell phone numbers so we can explain why our Star Trek style transporters aren't working, and thus we aren't able to make it to that in-person social engagement.
🖖🤓👾
But always wait until the last moment....⏲️
:) nice reply and "yay allism" (sarcasm)