I Can't Wait To Share This With You!

Like, wow. It’s been such an amazingly long time since we talked! I mean really talked. Not that catching up crap, where we lie about our mundane existence under a façade of modern agreeableness. I want to discuss some ideas!

Art:

If you want to pretend you like art, just fly to Paris, squint at the Mona Lisa for five minutes in a crowded line at the Louvre, then say you did that for the rest of your life.

Aging:

Oh, wow. I didn’t know you could feel pain there. Wow.

Love:

I don’t like salt, so I like to buy unsalted chips. However, my wife loves salted chips, so, instead of making me buy salted chips, she adds salt to her unsalted chips.

Education:

High school students learn facts in biology today that weren’t discovered in 1999 when I got a B- in bio. This is why I don’t cite “what I know” to people still learning.

Shame:

I hate being touched, but I love traveling. Ergo, I let TSA touch my balls in front of strangers and my kids so I can go to far away places I want to see.

Society:

Group Think is destroying our Group Think. What do you think?

Reading:

Skimming clickbait then telling people later that we “read an article.”

Hypocrisy:

What is, “Using Medicare and saying ‘I hate socialism,’ for $500, Alex?”

Prison:

Apple seeds have cyanide. Not a lot, but enough that if you ingest more than 150, you could die. So, if you’re ever in prison, ask for apples, save the seeds, and "escape."

Economics:

Many people say they hate paying taxes yet love to play the lottery.

Rules:

I hate putting the toilet seat down, but not as much as my wife hates falling in the toilet, so I put it down, and I think that's the litmus test for toxic masculinity.

Business:

We once said, “If you build it, they will come?” Now we say, “If you make your product cheaper and more convenient, they will abandon all ethics and come.”

Surveys:

We give "socially desirable answers" in polls and say, “It’s not you, it’s me” to break up.

Egoism:

The "I" is the least aware part of us. In fact, it shuns awareness.

Democracy:

2025 is what "Anything for a win!" culture looks like. This is the “lesser of two evils.”

Sexism:

I don’t interrupt or roll my eyes when women womensplain about mansplaining.

Charisma:

If you are in a room with two or more people, within minutes, a hierarchy will develop, and it will be based on the “charisma” of the people in this unit.

Suffering:

If you want to stop suffering, stop making demands of reality.

Anger:

Instead of getting mad at my wife when she leaves fans and lights on, I imagine how much I'll miss being upset with her if she dies before me and I have to live without her.

Competition:

We win arguments when a foe thinks they won, but leaves thinking about what we said.

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This week Coffin Talk welcomes Allison Lane—book coach, publishing expert, and host of The Author’s Edge—for a deep dive into what it means to leave a legacy through writing. We explore the intersection of mortality, authorship, visibility, and technology, as Allison offers compelling insights on how writers can get their message into the world through traditional, hybrid, and self-publishing. Listen here.